Friday, November 21, 2008

I have been lost...

My nephew Zack says so. I'll share that story in a moment, but first...

I'm doing well. I know you wouldn't have a clue about that since I have not posted since my surgery. I apologize. I have no excuse. I just didn't feel like it. Also, I really didn't have much to share except having my gallbladder removed has almost been like magic! It has made such a big difference in my overall well-being. Don't jump too far ahead though. I still have my crashes, and usually allow my weekend to be that time. I was talking to my sister Ranna tonight and realized it is basically controlled crashing. I push myself during the week to get to work and be productive there, and on the weekend I let the crash happen, to whatever degree that may be. Some weekends I have felt great, others not so much.

I believe that the greatest difference I have noticed has been my mood. I have felt so positive and it is so nice. When I went back to work I came home and told Steve that there were two words that people said to me that fit so perfectly, "Welcome Back." I have truly felt that way, for myself. I have felt more like myself in the past month or so than I had for a long time. Optimistic, silly, spontaneous and happy. That is who I really am and it is nice to feel that way.

With that out of the way, on to the good stuff. My nephew Zack will be three in a few weeks. He is very silly and he knows it. His personality is so fun. Last week was my sister Amanda's birthday and he went to grandma's while she and Aaron went out. On their way home from picking him up he informed them he was sad. When Amanda asked him why he was sad, he explained "I lost my Charlene." He then proceeded to talk about me being sick and needing to go to the doctor. She explained that the doctor fixed me and that I am all better. He said, "Oh, Steve had to go to the doctor. He bumped his head." She and Aaron were quite surprised with this conversation and have no idea where it came from. But I sure felt special after she sent me the text telling me I was lost. I saw him a few days later and it was fun to have him be so excited to see me.

Last night my mom had a Lia Sophia jewelry party. I decided to go a little bit early so I could hang out. Both Amanda and Britta were already there with their kids. Amanda came into the living room as I was taking my jacket and my shoes off and hollered at Zack to come see "who's here". His excitement when he saw me was so touching. He ran up and gave me a big hug and kiss. Lately Zack has been afraid of the dark. A few nights ago he was crying before bed and Amanda thought this was the reason. Nope, he was crying because he lost his Charlene, again. While it is sad that he cried about it, I have to say, it is darn cute!

These stories make me feel very special. To put this all in perspective, Ranna watches him every Wednesday. Britta watches him about once a week based on my mom's schedule. Because of the regular visit he has with them it is natural for him to have a good connection with them. I don't see him at any regular intervals. But, now I know he likes to see me and misses me.

Basically, I feel very special and loved!!!!!!!

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