Friday, May 1, 2009

Flashback Friday

I know it has been some time since I wrote a post, and especially a Flashback Friday post. I was playing a game on Facebook and I just started thinking about Steve. Since he is at work, I miss him. I've been thinking about the day (and moment) I realized I wanted to marry him. We have already shared the story about how we met and our whirlwind courtship. But I don't know if he even remembers this one.

Around the time that we met Angela's husband Erik joined the Army, active duty. Of course this meant selling their house and moving out of state. They had two kids at the time, Alek and Ethan. I believe that Alek had just turned 2 and Ethan had just turned 1. If my memory serves me correctly, their house had not sold by the time Erik had to leave for boot camp. One Saturday, when we didn't have a competition, Steve and I went over to help her pack, clean the house, and take care of the kids.

We took a break and Steve and I were reading stories to the kids. I believe that Alek was on Steve's lap and I was holding Ethan. At some point, I glanced at the TV in front of us. I could see our reflections and it truly was as if time just stopped. I sat in amazement as Steve was so involved in the story he was reading. I saw us together and it just fit. I wanted to cry but decided that wasn't a good idea, so I held it back.

After that, I had no hope. All he had to do was say the words and I was his. To this day, whenever I watch him with kids I am amazed and I feel the same way. He's not worried about whatever is going on in life. He is involved in the moment and he is a kid himself. It makes my heart melt every time.

I love the moments in life that happen and things become crystal clear, such as this one. Last week I had another. I won't go into too many yucky details, but last Friday I ended up in the emergency room. I was bleeding uncontrollably and in a lot of pain. I had been trying to deal with it on my own since Wednesday night with some luck here and there but Friday it just got worse and I couldn't take it anymore.

I was at work and ended up having a co-worker take me. Steve had worked the night before and I knew he was supposed to be sleeping. I didn't even know if he would have his phone on or not (he typically turns it off so he it doesn't wake him up when people call). I had called from work and he didn't answer because he didn't recognize the number. A few minutes later I called from my cell phone, in the car on the way. By this point I was in tears, and he had only been asleep for an hour. As soon as he heard me crying he was up. Within 10 minutes he was dressed and to the hospital to be with me.

Throughout the day, everything he did was for me, nothing else mattered. It didn't matter how tired, hungry or thirsty he was. He was going to be there with me whenever possible. He called work and let them know he would not be able to make it in that night. He wasn't going to leave me by myself. Luckily, at one point they had to take me for some tests and he was able to get some food. My dad came to the hospital about half way and stayed with us the remainder of the time. He also took Steve to pick up my car after I was home. I think that helped Steve as much as it did me.

We definitely have our moments, times that we just go with the flow. But I am grateful for those moments of clarity. The expressions of pure and simple love.

I love you Steve!